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Grumpy Old Mans Birthday (R)

When we were kids we used to think that Christmas and Birthdays were
the most special days in the year. The anticipation, the counting of
sleeps and the belief that wishes came true. The magical powers of a
birthday cake and the intense determination to get those candles out in
one breath. A dream could come true, a special gift would manifest and
a party was nothing less than a celebration of our existence.

Santa confirmed 'we had been good' and although we knew we had
sinned along the way there was that confirmation that all was forgiven or
perhaps not recorded. All in all, I guess the thing that mattered most was
the understanding that someone or everyone thought we were special.
Yes, a birthday is a special day to celebrate the fact that we are special.

It’s sad to think that over time we become cynical about magical
moments and give up on dreams and its sadder still to think that we
somehow give up believing we are special. The grown up mind
compares birthdays to yardsticks or milestones. Just a number on a
driver’s license or a reminder that time has been wasted or time is
running out. We shrug off birthdays with indifference or sometimes a
sense of slight embarrassment and refer to it as just another day and
just another year.

So, your birthday is near and here I am thinking about your last couple
of birthdays. I hear you refer to yourself as a ‘grumpy old man’ and I’ve
watched your face express disappointment and frustration. Fleeting
fragments of anger and a deep well of sadness; loneliness and
vulnerability. I have seen, touched and felt your pain.

An ignorant person or someone unable or unwilling to see beyond the
surface may in fact judge you by this exterior. You might even label
yourself this way on occasion. Masks can be very deceptive.

Today I would like you to see yourself through my eyes; know yourself
with my heart and experience yourself through my spirit. I want to
celebrate you and I want you to know that you are special. I want this
birthday and all the birthdays to follow to be a celebration. I want to
remind the kid within you that he is still special and I want the man you
are now to know that he is loved and honoured.

It is only a heart that loves deeply that understands loneliness and
despair. It’s a heart that understands justice that experiences anger
when justice is not fulfilled. It’s a penetrating and thoughtful mind that
understands actions and consequences and takes responsibility.

It is love that aches for a better world, kindness, generosity, integrity and
a longing to empower and heal.

There are very few people who have the sensibility or the capacity to
love the way I have seen in you. This matters - this is valuable and this
does impact.

Perhaps, you feel that you are unable to do enough, but it’s not really
about doing – it’s about being. It’s the people you touch along the way
and it’s that part of yourself that you so freely give. Don’t fool yourself
into believing that if love was not met or understood that it meant
anything less. Don’t allow your heart to be broken by people or things
that fail to respond.

You may believe that you need to plant a forest, but sometimes you
really do need to understand that some people can only accept a seed;
sometimes they may hold that seed for years before they realize there is
a potential forest within it.

This year I may not be able to be with you on your birthday so I am
writing this ahead of time to let you know that I would like to be. So, on
the day, I will be with you regardless of whether or not I see you, and I
will be celebrating you. This year I want you to know that you are special
and I want you to celebrate that.

This year, I hope you do blow out some candles and make a wish. This
year, my wish for you is that your wish comes true.
(C) Sonya Green

Witch of Light
Boil and bubble toil and trouble
She was a witch who flew thru the night
Drew back the sheets
And made me feel right.

She has a way of releasing my fears
Waits til the morning when everything clears
Nothing like thunder, a slight wisp of light
Keeping me calm and holding me tight

She’s not what you think - she doesn’t wear black
She doesn’t spell evil or wear a black hat
She rides from my history far back from here
She promised me once she would always stay near.

A woman of wisdom and lady of heart
Healing the fragile, who feel pulled apart
Spirit and substance, healing of hands
Without an agenda without any plans

When bones get that lonely, the night is so long
She brings me music and sings her sweet song.
She doesn’t possess me but watches my soul
She loves me and lights me and makes me feel whole

Boil and bubble toil and trouble
She comes to me in the darkness of night
Picking me up by calming me down
Whenever I'm lonely she comes around.

Boil and bubble toil and trouble
She is the witch who flies through the night
Boil and bubble toils and trouble
She is the witch who makes it all light.
(C) Sonya Green

For Susie
Perhaps it’s selfish to want you here
I sense you reach to dry my tear
I know you are smiling from up above
And feel you here in peace and love.
I’m thinking about your pure heart
So much joy, right from the start
Your laughter plays within my mind
You always were just one of a kind.

What a privilege it’s been to have you here
How sweet you are and oh so dear
Did we say enough, did we get it right?
We wished you love and wished you light.
For all the dreams I dreamt for you
I give you now as you pass through
We celebrate your life today
With love of course-the only way.

We thank you for the joy you shed
Who you are and the life you led
Our beautiful girl we wish you the best
You did excel in this life’s quest

Sonya Green (May 2005)

When it comes to truth, I find that education gives an interesting point of
view, but personal experience gives the best interpretation.

Sonya Green
Grumpy old mans birthday.
Witch of Light.
Eulogy for Susie.
by Sonya Green
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Reinventing Myself by Sonya Green