Reinventing myself personal growth program
Guided Meditation C.D.s
Now available in Paperback
Creative Visualization guided meditation techniques
How to Meditate, what is a healing meditation like
Weight Loss and  Emotional eating
Fear of abandonment
Stress reduction
Vital Energy oxygen therapy and breathing
Soul Mates and self love
arthritis chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia
Self Esteem
heartbreak
White Light and healing energies
Spitituality without religeon
Happiness
what is love
Sex - What the women are saying now.
psychic Cords
Money Prosperity Wealth
Parents. Who are these aliens?
Incest
Living in the shadows
Affirmations and Mind Power
Words as Medicine
Absent Healing and Chakra Balance
Better Questions Better Solutions
Are we thinking our own thoughts?
Beauty Myth
bipolar
Inspirational quotes
Im right you're wrong
Letter to My son
Songs to make your heart sing
Contact Sonya Green
Sonya Green new articles
Reinventing myself personal growth program
Guided Meditation C.D.s
Now available in Paperback
Creative Visualization guided meditation techniques
How to Meditate, what is a healing meditation like
Weight Loss and  Emotional eating
Fear of abandonment
Stress reduction
Vital Energy oxygen therapy and breathing
Soul Mates and self love
arthritis chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia
Self Esteem
heartbreak
White Light and healing energies
Spitituality without religeon
Happiness
what is love
Sex - What the women are saying now.
psychic Cords
Money Prosperity Wealth
Parents. Who are these aliens?
Incest
Living in the shadows
Affirmations and Mind Power
Words as Medicine
Absent Healing and Chakra Balance
Better Questions Better Solutions
Are we thinking our own thoughts?
Beauty Myth
bipolar
Inspirational quotes
Im right you're wrong
Letter to My son
Songs to make your heart sing
Contact Sonya Green
Sonya Green new articles
Reinventing myself personal growth program
Guided Meditation C.D.s
Now available in Paperback
Creative Visualization guided meditation techniques
How to Meditate, what is a healing meditation like
Weight Loss and  Emotional eating
Fear of abandonment
Stress reduction
Vital Energy oxygen therapy and breathing
Soul Mates and self love
arthritis chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia
Self Esteem
heartbreak
White Light and healing energies
Spitituality without religeon
Happiness
what is love
Sex - What the women are saying now.
psychic Cords
Money Prosperity Wealth
Parents. Who are these aliens?
Incest
Living in the shadows
Affirmations and Mind Power
Words as Medicine
Absent Healing and Chakra Balance
Better Questions Better Solutions
Are we thinking our own thoughts?
Beauty Myth
bipolar
Inspirational quotes
Im right you're wrong
Letter to My son
Songs to make your heart sing
Contact Sonya Green
Sonya Green new articles
Reinventing myself personal growth program
Guided Meditation C.D.s
Now available in Paperback
Creative Visualization guided meditation techniques
How to Meditate, what is a healing meditation like
Weight Loss and  Emotional eating
Fear of abandonment
Stress reduction
Vital Energy oxygen therapy and breathing
Soul Mates and self love
arthritis chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia
Self Esteem
heartbreak
White Light and healing energies
Spitituality without religeon
Happiness
what is love
Sex - What the women are saying now.
psychic Cords
Money Prosperity Wealth
Parents. Who are these aliens?
Incest
Living in the shadows
Affirmations and Mind Power
Words as Medicine
Absent Healing and Chakra Balance
Better Questions Better Solutions
Are we thinking our own thoughts?
Beauty Myth
bipolar
Inspirational quotes
Im right you're wrong
Letter to My son
Songs to make your heart sing
Contact Sonya Green
Sonya Green new articles
Reinventing myself personal growth program
Guided Meditation C.D.s
Now available in Paperback
Creative Visualization guided meditation techniques
How to Meditate, what is a healing meditation like
Weight Loss and  Emotional eating
Fear of abandonment
Stress reduction
Vital Energy oxygen therapy and breathing
Soul Mates and self love
arthritis chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia
Self Esteem
heartbreak
White Light and healing energies
Spitituality without religeon
Happiness
what is love
Sex - What the women are saying now.
psychic Cords
Money Prosperity Wealth
Parents. Who are these aliens?
Incest
Living in the shadows
Affirmations and Mind Power
Words as Medicine
Absent Healing and Chakra Balance
Better Questions Better Solutions
Are we thinking our own thoughts?
Beauty Myth
bipolar
Inspirational quotes
Im right you're wrong
Letter to My son
Songs to make your heart sing
Contact Sonya Green
Sonya Green new articles
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Some years ago, I had a heath crisis which took me to the edge. I cannot
say if it was the edge of the big black abyss or the edge of the bright
shining white light, but what I know for sure is that it was the edge
between being here and not.

I will not bore you with the why or the how come other than to say that I
was physically, emotionally and mentally depleted. I was in a lot of pain,
my brain was mushy and I was so fragile that I didn’t know who I was from
one day to the next.

I lost weight rapidly and found it really difficult to eat, which was
frightening as I dropped to 49kg and became so weak and tired that I
would become breathless walking from my bedroom to the bathroom.

My joints were under attack and some days I couldn’t walk and other
days I couldn’t move my hands or lift my arms. I couldn’t open jars, lift
milk bottles or reach top shelves. The strangest thing was that I lost my
personality, my voice became very quiet and I couldn’t follow
conversations for longer than a few minutes.

It was a lot more complicated than this, but apart from the issues of pain
and disease there was the awareness that I was living the life of a very
old person. Now that I am back to health and my normal life, as myself, I
am left with a deeper understanding of the hardship that so many people
within out community are enduring.

A friend of mine once stated that, “Old age ain’t for sissies.” It’s true, if we
are lucky or unlucky enough to live a long life then we need to be brave,
tough, cunning and humble.

One of the most unexpected and difficult issues that I found was that
society deems you invisible. When you are in pain you move slowly, so
you notice how fast the world moves around you; not just around you, but
right over the top of you. You feel their impatience tapping away at the
back of your head and mentally pushing you out of the way; you hear
that sigh and see the eyebrow raise and sneer behind the
condescending words or fake smile.

I had never given much thought to the power of my voice but when it
became weak and my thoughts became slower, I realized just how much
people disregard what you say, or how they speak over the top of you.
People speak loudly and in sharp, short sentences, and in effect, treat
you like a moron. I don’t know why, but they seem to call you dear for
some reason.

I hadn’t realized that the voice commands so much attention; delivers a
sense of professionalism or intellect and a cue to be taken seriously and
treated respectfully – but it does. A weak voice suggests a victim energy
and people respond in a dominant way. Everything became hard work;
the joking disappeared, no friendly banter, no additional information or
helpful extras – just that sense of ‘next please’.

My general appearance and body language changed dramatically and so
did they way that I was summed up and dismissed. I had the same brain
but it was working from a place outside of my head, I felt like I was
observing my life from above and that it was all going in slow motion and
distorted images.

I have spoken with many elderly people and they all say the same thing,
“I feel exactly the same as I did in my twenties.” It’s true. When I looked in
the mirror I looked like a caricature of myself; thin and pale with sunken
dark eyes, dull and dry hair and skin but mostly a lack of glow – dead
eyes and a lack of inner shine. My perception of myself was the same,
but the world’s perception and reaction to me had changed. It’s very
confusing.

Physically it is very tough, everything is heavy and your fatigued body
has to work twice as hard on everything. Housework is exhausting and
painful so you let a lot slip and do only the essential tasks. Opening
packages, peeling vegetables, slicing and chopping food, reaching up
and bending down, walking stairs and getting in and out of cars – it all
hurts and it’s all difficult.

Wet areas are a problem; getting in and out of the shower is daunting as
you are unsteady on your feet and ever alert to the possibility of slipping
or being unable to get out of the bath. Dressing is hard; it’s like trying to
put shoes on when you have a sprained ankle – except everything feels
sprained. I know now that this is why old people sometimes smell a bit or
look very dishevelled – sometimes it’s just the best they could manage
that day.

Shopping is another big problem. You can’t buy anything big as it’s just
too heavy to carry, in fact, some things are just too heavy to pick up, or
too high to reach or too low to bend. Everything ends up costing more as
you have to buy the small sizes and you need to go to the shops three
times a week instead of once.

I really don’t know how the elderly cope, other than to accept that they
just have no option. I do know that they must suffer in silence and just
accept a really bad deal.

Many live alone, usually existing on a mere pension and with little or no
help. They might consider themselves fortunate as they have at least
some shred of independence and fiercely fight to maintain it.

The loss of friends and family and the overall loneliness must be
unbearable. The loss of hope for a better future, the awareness of the
body permanently closing down and the anticipation of their demise;
waiting on the other side of every night’s sleep – it must be terrifying -
endured silently and privately.

Having been through my experience, I have become more mindful and
considerate with my own mother. I do try to slow down and really be
present when I am with her; sure, I still get impatient and take over but I
am getting better at catching that and correcting it.

She forgets a lot of things now and repeats herself quite often. There is a
new anxiety and frustration within her and numbers, words, gadgets,
technology and ‘the big outside world’ seem to have left her behind.  She
doesn’t seem to understand that she doesn’t need to buy from salesmen
because they seem so nice.  She thinks that everything on television is
real because she doesn’t understand lies and manipulation. She doesn’t
question doctors and usually tells them she is fine when they ask.

These things are just a part of age and she is lucky that she does have
family looking out for her, she lives independently and her health is pretty
good. For so many within our communities this is not the case. As a
community we must become a lot more sensitive, compassionate and
respectful of our elders.

They often say that it takes a tribe to raise a child but I hope that we as a
generation take on the awareness that it also a takes a tribe to care for
and respect the elderly.


Copyright Sonya Green
www.reinventingmyself.com
Reinventing Myself - Sonya Green

Back when I was old
What the elderly don't tell you about aging


By Sonya Green
reinventingmyself.com
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REINVENTING MYSELF
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